Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Numi Organics Savory Tea

I received a sampler of Numi Organics Savory Tea in the mail today. The packaging promises "real organic vegetables, wild herbs, decaf tea and aromatic spices for a satisfying experience" and "it's not quite a soup, but more than a tea." I honestly went into the taste test open minded. I had thought to myself "These teas must taste better than they sound. Like when you think tomato soup cake will be gross but it turns out to be delicious."

Unfortunately,  Numi Organics Savory Tea turned out to be the worst product I have ever reviewed here at AMW. It's that bad. The aromas were not appetizing, to say the least. I kept blanching at the smells, putting the cups back down and pushing myself to try a proper amount of tea. 

"Nourishing vegetable, spice and tea infusions"

"Here are several ways to enjoy a cup...as a satisfying snack alternative to hold you over...."

"6 Satiating & Delicious Blends!"

"Garden Your Tea Cup"

Tomato Mint

Ingredients: Organic tomato, organic onion, organic mint, organic lemon peel, organic parsley, organic cinnamon, organic black pepper, organic decaf black tea, organic allspice.

Heated tea scent: Minty black tea

Taste: Mint tea with spicy undertones and a tomato plant aftertaste. Probably the least offensive of the six teas. If you like mint tea (I don't), you might be okay with tomato mint. 

Broccoli Cilantro

Ingredients: Organic broccoli, organic celery leaves, organic allspice, organic onion, organic cilantro, organic decaf green tea, organic garlic, organic black pepper, organic sage, organic turmeric.

Dry bag scent: Oregano and sage

Heated tea scent: Really strong broccoli

Taste: Broccoli, with a cilantro aftertaste. Eww!

Beet Cabbage

Ingredients: Organic beet, organic cabbage, organic dried apple, organic decaf black tea, organic mustard seed, organic parsley, organic orange peel, organic coriander, organic clove, organic honeybush. 

Dry bag scent: Broccoli

Heated tea scent: Cabbage

Taste: Cabbage. Really, it's even worse than you're imagining right now. I had a lovely Coke with fresh squeezed limes at lunch today; had I seen where tonight was headed, I would've brought home a very large to-go cup of that fizzy nectar.

Fennel Spice

Ingredients: Organic fennel, organic celery root, organic orange peel, organic onion, organic dill, organic decaf green tea, organic honeybush, organic black pepper. 

Dry bag scent: Poultry seasoning mix

Heated tea scent: Fennel

Taste: Oregano. And a big mouthful of onion. Some of you may have a relative who brings the same godawful dish to Thanksgiving every year and everyone wonders how to weasel out of eating a helping; fennel spice tea is the liquid equivalent of such a catastrophe. Side note: None of my relatives cook horrible food. So I should probably offer a sacrifice of thanks at an altar very soon.

Carrot Curry

Ingredients: Organic carrot, organic curry, organic cilantro, organic onion, organic ginger, organic turmeric, organic decaf green tea. 

Dry bag scent: A really strong version of Knorr Chicken Flavored Rice Sides

Heated tea scent: A really strong version of Knorr Chicken Flavored Rice Sides

TasteKnorr Chicken Flavored Rice Sides and canned chicken soup. If you're a camper / hiker who can hold your nose while eating (and I do recommend such an action, as the smell is rather off putting), you might be able to eat carrot curry tea as broth. Maybe. As a last resort. If you run out of food, your team never comes back with help and you can't tell wild berries from poison berries. 

Spinach Chive

Ingredients: Organic spinach leaves, organic chives, organic dried lime, organic dill, organic onion, organic decaf tea, organic coriander, organic turmeric, organic garlic

Dry bag scent: Canned spinach

Heated tea scent: Chives

Taste: Wendy's baked potatoes, a wheel barrow of chives and starchy boiled potato water, all mixed into one hellish concoction.  The most disgusting tea of all for sure. I had tried to drink the spinach chive tea first; I ended up gagging, choking and spitting it out from shock / repulsion and had to come back to it later. If anyone eats a Wendy's chive baked potato around me in the next week, you'll be cleaning vomit from your car. Just a friendly warning.

As you can already guess, I will not be purchasing Numi Organics Savory Tea. My kitchen still reeks of faux broth teas. The thought of soup or vegetables right now gives me a stomach ache.